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So, Friday the 5th of May is European Heart Failure Awareness Day.  I bet most of you didn't know that.  I had certainly  never heard about it before I was diagnosed with the condition.  Around Europe there are events aimed at rasing the awareness of Heart Failure and what it means for those of use living with the condition.  Hopefully it means a higher level of exposure for the condition which I feel is not as well publicised as other illnesses.  I in no way want other conditions to be thought any less of but I would like for heart failure to be recognised for the debilitating and widespread condition it is.  If you are looking for any events connected with the day then head off over to https://www.escardio.org/Sub-specialty-communities/Heart-Failure-Association-of-the-ESC-(HFA)/Advocacy-&-Awareness/heart-failure-awareness-day

As part of the day(s) I've decided to give a bit more information on what led me to being diagnosed with Heart Failure.  If it helps anyone understand the signs of the condition better then great.  I urge anyone that recognises symptoms to go and see their doctor and to most of all NOT TO PANIC.  If symptoms turn out to be nothing then great but at least you will have seen a medical professional.

In the spring of 2016, I started feeling ill.  I was breathless and had no energy.  Walking down the street started becoming a chore and I had to stop now and again.  I also noticed that I was beginning to become bloated. If I pressed my legs they would stay indented for a while. I went on holiday in the May to Malta and when walking up to my friends apartment had major issues dragging my suitcase up the hill on the 5minute walk from the bar.  All of this I put down to being unfit and nothing more.  I returned from holiday 10day later and my walking had really started going downlhill but still I ignored it.

As the weeks went on, things were gradually deterioating.  Both my wife and I came down with flu which laid us out for a couple of weeks buit eventually we were up and about.  My walking was still not great but I coped with it and put things to the back of my mind.  A few weeks later I came down with what I thought was a reoccurence of the flu we had both had and felt awful.  I started sleeping on the sofa.  Well, I say sleeping, I would actually get maybe 1-2hrs a night and get very frustrated.  I did start watching programmes like Lovejoy and Morse at 3 in the morning though (fun eh!).  I was also not eating as I felt sick everytime I tried to.  Going up stairs to the loo felt like scaling the north side of the Eiger and would leave me floored.  Not that going to the loo was any use anyway as I was just retaining the fluid and because I wasn't eating there wasn't anything else to come out anyway (talking about toilet habits has become common practice since I was ill).  Through all of this, my wife and son were telling me to go tot the doctor's but of course I thought I knew better and that I'd 'be better soon'.  I'd stopped leaving the house all together and the thought of having a beer made me feel ill which is very unlike me.  I'd also stopped smoking.

My feet had all of a sudden really swollen up (coincidently on the first really warm day of the year). and were painful due to the fluid that was collecting.  I got some light relief by elevating my feet bit not a great deal.

We then come to August.  It was my wife's birthday and we were going to a gig after having a wander round Leeds centre for Gay Pride day which is always a fun event.  Buses were diverted so we had to get off at the bottom of town and walk up to the pub which would normally be a 5-10min walk.  Not on this occasion though.  It must have taken me 30mins minimum with me having to stop every 20ft or so.  The pain and absolute exhaustion was incredible.  Well, we got to the pub and I looked like someone has dug me up.  No one had seen someone that grey looking outside of the black and white version of Night of The Living Dead.  I'd have been a crap zombie that day as the thought of eating anything would have been enough to floor me.  Anyway, we went to the gig on the evening, I drank water and Bad Manners were good.

That was enough for me though.  I was going to go to the doctors, but give it a few days first (yes I really was that stupid).  Finally got there on the Friday  and by this time I was quite frankly so shit scared I was imagining all sorts (the cancer adverts on the TV really wern't helping as the symptoms seemed pretty identical).  Bloods were take and I was told to call back the next week when the results were in.  On the Monday evening the phone went and the doctor was on the other end.  My results were in and they wanted me to go back in first thing on the Tuesday.  The visit to the doctors went in a bit of a blur to be honest, my results showed masively impaired liver function and they wanted me in hospital straight away.  Off I went and was prodded, scanned and admitted to a general ward.  The thought was that I had some sort of liver damage probably because my lifestyle was crap and I liked a drink. After a few days (which felt like an eternity), I had an ECG and echo on my heart which showed that my heart was not pumping blood around my body.  This was causing the fluid retention all the way from my feet to the my chest cavity and was causing my internal organs to shut down and blood clots to form in my heart. 

So, there you have it.  My symptoms laid bare.  I had no awareness of what heart failure was (the term itself  conjurs so many different images).  I'd seen no public service adverts detailing what to look out for. The whole experience from being admitted to hospital to now has been a massive learning experience with the support of the cardiac services here in Leeds and people involved with Pumping Marvellous  - The Heart Failure Charity.  We need heart failure to have a much bigger public face so people know what to look for so it is caught earlier rather than later.  I've been lucky in that my recovery has been great and I have adjusted to my new life well.  Others are not so lucky so the more exposure HF can get the more people wil have an idea of what to expect if diagnosed and also be more inclined to visit the doctor earlier rather than later.

Final words, if you suspect anything is wrong with you, if you experience any of the symptoms I did then get to the doctor's as soon as possible.  Do not wait hoping it will go away.  I was lucky, you may not be.  It really isn't worth it.